Cheating Boyfriend Test

Do You Think Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend is Cheating?! Find Out Here And Catch Your Cheating Lover!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Cheating Boyfriend Test

So you think that your partner might be cheating you? Why do you think that? Why not try this small Cheating boyfriend test and find out the truth? A quiz is always very helpful in finding the truth. The quiz questions are simple such as- Does your partner not love you? Does he/she not share the expenses? Do they look at others and try to give flirting signs even if they are with you? Are they keeping relations with their ex even now? Or is it just a felling that you are being cheated either physically or emotionally? Let us take this quiz and find the truth.

Quiz sixth sense-

Many times, the feeling that we are being cheated is itself an evidence of something going wrong. Our sixth sense tells us that. Our conscious mind may fail to take the hints but the subconscious will do. So while taking this quiz don’t ignore the inner signals.

Quiz cheating patterns-

Did you find your partner talking to somebody on phone and then disconnect the phone as soon as they saw you? Is your partner wary of sharing the mail password with you? Are you finding that their cell phone bills are more than normal? Do they go out without informing you and make some excuse when you ask? Are any outside business trips involved? What about late work at the office? Or unscheduled work related meetings? Do they look at you eye to eye while talking? Or avoid talking and walk around while talking? Do you hear telephone bell and when you pick up the phone, line goes dead?

Quiz and get the truth-

These are some of the signs that something might be wrong? Not necessarily cheating. Why not quiz your partner and find the truth? Quizzing point by point will surely tell you the truth.

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Cheating Girlfriend Signs: Top 10 Lies Of Women

Why are some relationships more honest than others? Why are some couples more truthful with each other while others like to deceive the partner? Nobody deserves to be lied, but there are no doubts that women are telling lies considerably and often. But so men do the same.

If you have trust issues in your relationship, in general, a woman may lie to you. Trust is something that you must build from the beginning of the relationship. Even though, a lot of people say ‘‘white lies'' in order to make others feel better. Some women lie because, as caring creatures they want to spare the feelings of the man they are dating or seeing.

So, here are some common lies told by women that you should know. Cheating Girlfriend Signs can fool people but when you know the top 10 lies then you can avoid it. Someday you might hear them from your partner and it is better to know their real meaning.

1.You're perfect. I love you just the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you. Let's be serious; nobody is perfect. At the beginning of a relationship all of them say this because they didn't know you very well but after some time will definitely find something that needs changed. So, if she tells you something like this, don't be too enthusiastic because she finds you perfect just for a couple of days, and after that she will ask you to change.

2.You're right. Every time you are arguing with you're girlfriend usually ends up by telling you that you are right? Maybe this makes you feel proud of you, but you have to know that this is a big lie. She said this just to make you shut up, even if she didn't consider that you're right. She knows that after a while you will see that she was right, and may be waiting for apologize.

3.Nothing is wrong. The most common lie '' I'm fine'' when asked if there is something wrong is the most used by women. You see that she is upset, she is acting strange or doesn't want to talk to you too much and ask her what is the problem she says that everything is fine. They don't want to tell the real truth but they are expecting that men to figure out that something is wrong and those they had a mistake with something.

4.I do love sports honey. Maybe she agrees to stay and watch with you every week at a football game but this doesn't really mean that she like it. She accepts to do this just to show you that she is different from other girls and you have common interest. You may be thinking that you have found the perfect girl for you, because not many of them would like to stay to watch football, but don't be too happy because after a while she might had enough and get angry every time you sit down to watch a game.

5.I like spending time with your friends. At the beginning this is ok, but not too much. Even if they are good friends of you, she would like to spend more time alone with you and not with your friends. If she didn't tell you already this, she will ask you to keep visits from your buddies at minimum and then she might keep pretending she loves them.

6.Your family is adorable, so I like spending time with your family. The truth? Maybe twice a month. Think about it. Do you really think that she likes to spend time with your family where everybody is criticizing her and watch her every move? She agrees to spend time with your family when is necessary but she doesn't do it with much pleasure even if she is pretending in front of you that she likes them.

7.Your bank account doesn't matter. I hope you didn't believe this. We all know that this is definitely a lie. All women want a guy that is financial stable and independent, a guy that can assure her a future with no financial problems. This doesn't mean that you have to be very rich to have a girlfriend, but you have to have some money.

8.It doesn't bother to me if you look after women or go with your boys at strip-clubs. This is too good to be truth. Even she says that this is ok, she will definitely be upset that you want to go. They hate to feel second best to a night out with the guys, and accept this in order to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. If you choose to go, she will make you a lot of comments after, so you better think twice before you go.

9.You are very good in bed. If she choose to speak about this topic without you ask her, you don't have to believe all she says. If she starts to compliment you about your sexual experience it doesn't mean that she really believes that. Often a woman who cares about a man tell him all that she knows he wants to hear just to make him feel good about himself. So think about your girlfriend, your relationship, your sexual experience and see if you really deserve compliments on this topic.

10.Don't worry, it happens to everyone. If you just make a mistake, or fail in bed, you might hear this lie from your girlfriend. She doesn't want to show you how upset she is on you but in her mind thinks something else. I wouldn't be too sure that your mistake is forgiven and I would worry in not making too many '' accidents'' like these.

With all these presented, now will be more easy for you to know when your girlfriend is lying. As you see, what a woman says is not what she really thinks.

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Is My Man Cheating Online?

Online dating is one of the fastest growing industries in the UK today. Every day, hundreds of thousands of us log on to one or more of the growing number of sites available; some looking for serious relationships, others for friendship and companions, and still others for casual flings and that extra ‘bit on the side’. Now most girl's fear tends to take a paradigm shift. "Is my man cheating online" is their fret nowadays.

Some sites claim to be purely for genuine singles seeking committed, long term relationships, others turn a blind eye to, or even actively encourage, married or cohabiting members who may or may not use the sites with the blessing of their spouse or partner. Of course many people who use online dating sites do so purely for chatting and exchanging messages and never meet face to face; with the steady growth of the Internet as a communication tool since it’s inception, it has become increasingly possible for netizens to conduct deeply involved, real time relationships with people they have never actually met.

So what does this change with regard to the old ways of doing things? When does an online relationship become ‘intimate’? Can you fall in love with an avatar, and can you cheat on someone, or with someone, who is in a different time zone?

A recent study by Dr Martin Graff of the University of Glamorgan showed that our perceptions of what does and does not constitute ‘cheating’ online are affected by a variety of factors – most prominently, and perhaps unsurprisingly, by the level of information dating site users are prepared to disclose about themselves; Dr Graff explains

“From this study, it seems that the greater the level of typed disclosure, then the stronger the perception of infidelity.”

Seemingly, in the absence of the 'nonverbal cues' on which face to face interaction relies so strongly, how much we are prepared to give away about ourselves is the primary indicator of how intimate our online relationships are and by extension, the degree of unfaithfulness inherent in the actions of non single site users.

Perhaps more surprisingly, the study also showed that the time of day at which online encounters took place was also a key factor in establishing infidelity, concluding that

“Exchanges later in the evening were perceived to be more infidelitous, than those which might take place in the day or early evening.”

Dr Graff's study is ongoing and subsequent phases will look at the issues of jealousy and trust in the0020context of online relationships.

Ultimately the jury is still out on exactly what constitutes online infidelity and indeed relationships over the net as a whole. It is doubtful that a firm conclusion will ever be reached as the world of online dating and relationships, as in 'real life', will always be immensely subjective due to the differing moral standards and emotional responses of the individuals involved. Studies like Dr Graff's can however provide a fascinating insight into the human causes and effects of the modern world, and how these are shaped by the direction of our rapidly developing and changing communications technology.

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Saturday, October 24, 2009

Should You Tell Your Partner If There Are Signs Of A Cheating Wife Or Husband?

Cheating is considered unpardonable. Everybody takes cheating by the partner very seriously. But most of us cheat at one or the other time -if not physically then emotionally. What if you cheated on your partner in a momentary lapse and are now very much regretting it. Should you tell your partner or not? and if it is your turn to see some signs of a cheating wife or husband. Should you tell them that you've caught them if you love them so much?

Love Can Not Be Lost

You are worried that if you tell your partner, you may loose the relationship and the love forever. But you cannot afford to loose the love. You love your partner very much and the thought of staying separately frightens you. You do not want to take any risk with your love. If you tell your partner about your cheating, you may lose that love.

Love And Lies Can Not Stay Together

If we love deeply then our relationship is always very open. We are so open and hones with each other that forget physical cheating, we do not even think about emotional cheating.

Once we decide to hide our cheating we go into mental trauma. We are always thinking about the cheating and not telling. Along with that we are worried about getting caught. This torture of emotions affects our love and our partner will sense that something is amiss. The relationship will suffer. In both the alternatives, the relationship stands to suffer because the deed has been done. What do you think is the better alternative? You will tell your partner or hide?

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Discover Signs He Is Cheating Or She Is Cheating By Spying?

My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying. But it is the only way to discover signs he is cheating or signs she is cheating.

Outrage can be intense: “How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don’t spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you. How could I love anyone that would do something like that to me?" On and on.

Cheating husbands and cheating wives usually will not admit the duplicity of their clandestine behavior. But you are made out to be the villain if you use detective work to discover the truth. It doesn’t make sense, but then again not much about infidelity borders close to sanity.

Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying the integrity of a relationship through spying? No, of course not. The integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the extramarital affair. The affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you made.

You saw clearly the signs of a cheating spouse. The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its protective boundaries. The marital infidelity broke the contract of the marriage; it was the act of betrayal. Spying does not damage the marriage. It is an attempt to seek the truth and resolve the pain and deception.

Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It’s intent is to find the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Is My Husband Cheating Or Wife Cheating? Expert Helps

Is My Husband Cheating ? Is My Wife Cheating? The idea that a loved one may be breaking sacred promises and engaging in an outside relationship is accompanied by a myriad of emotions. You feel betrayed, you feel abandoned and left alone to survive in a world that has been utterly unfair to you. Yet the uncertainty and anxiety that comes with not knowing the truth may be even worse than the abandonment itself. It disrupts your life and prevents you from moving on. It deprives you of peace, sleep, and is emotionally and physically taxing. We at Lakeside Investigations understand this, and are here to prove to you that you are not alone. You can fight back and take control of your life again, and we have all the state-of-the-art tools ready to put to good use--to get you the truth once and for all.

We are experts and professionals. We work with clients like you every day to get them the proof they need to improve their lives. Confidentiality and results are our highest priorities—and the initial consultation is always free to you. In fact, we realize that you may be uncomfortable about revealing your own identity, so we are willing at first to consult with you anonymously until you feel confident enough in our professionalism to reveal yourself to us.

The reality in life is that infidelity happens a lot, and while it is difficult and painful to think it might happen to you, it is also immensely important for the truth to come to light. Not only does infidelity hurt emotions and disrupt lives, it may also be extremely dangerous for health reasons. So if you suspect your spouse or significant other of infidelity, it’s very important that you do NOT confront them. This will only cause them to change their habits and deprive you of the certainty you require for good health and peace of mind. The first thing you should do is call us, the experts at Lakeside Investigations.


If you believe your spouse might be cheating, then never forget that you have a right to know—and statistics are on your side proving that 85% of all women who suspect their men are cheating are correct. And the same is alarmingly true for 50% of men who suspect their wives or girlfriends might be cheating. Yet you still need the proof that will get you not only the peace of mind you deserve, but the moral and legal vindication that you need. We have the capacity to bring all that actionable proof right to you.

The difficulty that this situation may present to you is understandable, and our consultants are compassionate toward this. At the same time, it is necessary for you to be candid about all the areas of your spouse’s personal life that might be relevant to the investigation. The thoroughness with which we question you will give you an idea of just how far we will go in the actual investigation to get you the truth you need. We know that you are desperate now to find out the true activities of your spouse, and we are committed to match that desperation with our meticulous attention to all the details that will uncover the most discreet activities of your mate.

Our experts are highly trained in the systematic methods of cheating spouse investigations that are guaranteed to produce the most accurate results. However, let us also assure you that all actions we perform will be carried out with the utmost discretion and the strictest attention to propriety and good taste. Our goal is not to embarrass you or create an unnecessary scandal. We simply recognize your need and right to know the details of relationships in which your mate is engaged, and we are committed to providing you (and no one else) with that information. We are careful to provide the most thorough investigation so that you are free and able to use it in legal proceedings, or simply to confront the cheating spouse and get your life back on track—but we leave that decision up to you.

The profile we’ve provided above is made up of a list of behaviors that point toward a cheating spouse or significant other. While no single one of these behaviors should be considered evidence of a cheating spouse, if a few of these are present in your spouse’s behavior then your alarm is understandable. Life is too short and yours too important to continue living in misery and doubt. We’re here to help you ease the pain by winning back your happiness, security, and freedom.

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Sunday, October 18, 2009

Is My Boyfriend Cheating - What Boys Do?

Truthfully, I believe that it's difficult to keep the romance alive and a relationship on a positive note if you're unable to work in unity with your spouse. Especially if one of you defines cheating in one way and the other defines cheating in another way. Usually, physical cheating is what we all refer to as cheating. But do you know that boys do a lot more than that. Yes they do. Is my boyfriend cheating is an understatement. Find out here how men cheat in their on little ways.

1. The "Roaming Eye"

When I speak of the "roaming eye" I mean visual disrespect to your partner. Acknowledging someone's beauty is one thing, but the "roaming eye" is a much more intense act. It's beyond acknowledgement. In a situation like that, fantasy creeps in and your partner feels mistreated or upset due to the act of disregarding her and making it clear you would like to have sex with the person in your sights.

Under those conditions, it can turn into a huge problem for the relationship. Of course, it's one thing to notice someone's beauty from time to time, but the "roaming eye" is another thing altogether. It can lead to insecurity issues, trust issues, and sometimes result in actual physical cheating.

So exactly what is the "roaming eye?"

Although I couldn't possibly mention everything, let's talk about the more obvious actions... The "roaming eye" constitutes going to strip clubs, ogling women in the street, and commenting can also be a part of the issue in which verbal insinuations are made concerning what you would like to do with that person. Taken too far, it can be emotionally abusive to your partner and result in a destructive relationship that could eventually lead you both in separate directions.

So, a constructive way to handle this situation on a personal basis, is to treat any woman like you would want someone to treat your wife, sister, mother, or any other female that you regard with the highest respect. Of course, it isn't always going to work because you're human, but it's a good place to start. By asking yourself, "How do I want other men to treat my partner?" can help you change the entire way you see things.

For example, someone ogling your wife in a disrespectful way is most likely something you would not take kindly to. Perhaps you'd even be infuriated if you witnessed it happening. So, if you apply those feelings to a woman that catches your eye, it makes it somewhat easier to want to treat that person with a lot more respect. After all she is someone else relative. Obviously not yours, but someone's.

2. Physical Contact

This type of emotional cheating occurs when you go to strip clubs and receive lap dances or some other similar type of contact from the opposite sex. As a man, you may not consider this as cheating, but your partner may. As a result, this induces conflict in the relationship in which your partner feels betrayed and you feel as if you didn't do anything wrong.

If this does occur, a constructive way to handle this is to put yourself in your partner's shoes or put your partner in the stripper's shoes. For example, would you want her in a male strip club receiving lap dances? Or would you want your wife in front of other men stripping and giving other men lap dances?

Chances are good the answer is "no." If you reverse the situation, it's easy enough to look at it constructively so that the two of you can work on resolving the issue by basing it on the old saying, "treat others the way you want (your wife) to be treated."

Be objective, be honest, and most of all... be fair. Work hard at trying not to give yourself extra privileges you wouldn't give your spouse. Make it your responsibility to be considerate to other women just as you would want another man to be considerate to your wife.

You're no exception to the rule.

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Friday, October 16, 2009

Is My Girlfriend Cheating - Emotionally ?

People define cheating differently. Some people define it as an emotional act as well as a physical act and others just define it as a physical act. That topic alone can cause some issues in a relationship if both parties define cheating differently.So, in order to eliminate obstacles that may later come into play it's always best to make certain you know how the other person in the relationship defines something like that. Although it's not pertinent that couples are exactly alike, there are obviously some important areas in a relationship which help uplift it rather than hinder it. And this type of topic can be one of those things.

Most of the girls really don't have the guts to cheat with their boyfriends - But of course, I'm talking about the girls that are not bitches. The one who really love their boyfriends. Girls like that don't cheat. and if they ever cheat, they cheat emotionally. Which hurt the guys so much. Because girls leave them hanging and thinking, is my girlfriend cheating on me or they aren't? Guys just don't like the feeling of being confuse so

What Exactly is Emotional Cheating?

Well there are different levels of emotional cheating, but let's discuss the most significant forms of emotional cheating...

Some women consider cheating to be a secret that is kept from them. For instance, their spouse has a dinner date with another woman, but doesn't bother to mention it. Whether this situation is considered cheating depends on the relationship you have with your partner and the type of friendships you have outside of your partnership.

Since the pendulum can swing either way it's best to make certain you both see eye-to-eye before it ever happens (if it ever does). Maybe you don't think it's important to mention it because it doesn't mean anything and mentioning it would give it more weight than it's worth, but it's best not to assume something like that but to talk it over instead.

The reason for that is because, on the contrary, some women feel that if it was so unimportant, then why not just mention it. It's a catch-22 situation. So, a constructive way to handle a circumstance like that it to discuss it with one another before it ever has a chance to occur.

Since this issue is such a big one, it's important to sit down with one another and discuss why it's happening if you aren't in agreement about your actions, because a great relationship is built on unity between a man and woman and if there isn't any unity, it will lead to a lot of problems.

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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Signs Of An Affair And How To Avoid It

Most of us at some point during a relationship are confronted with the issue of infidelity. This article has been written to help you prevent your partner from cheating. Wouldn't it be nice if you will not notice any signs of an affair and make your relationship perfect? The goal is to make your partner want you and not someone else. Here are 10 simple things that you can do which should keep your partner interested in you.

1. First and foremost you should try to trust your partner. This may of course not always be the easiest thing to do. But making your partner feel that you trust them, gives them the signal that you are confident. A confident person is always more interesting compared to a person who isn't.

2. Give your partner the space they need. If you let a bird fly away it is more likely to be loyal to you compared to putting it in a cage. In this situation the bird is more likely to fly back to you. However, if the bird is kept in a cage and it eventually manages to escape it is less likely to come back to you. Trying to control your partner will almost definitely lead to disaster. Give them a certain amount of freedom - but not too much. Some partners feel that an excessive amount of freedom is a sign of not caring or not being interested.

3. Whether we like it or not - we all have our insecurities. Your partner will have them too. Massage his or her ego by making compliments once in a while. The important thing though is not to over do it. If you swamp your partner with too many compliments they are either unlikely to believe you or they simply won’t accept them. Someone who has severe insecurities will struggle to accept an overload of compliments because they don't actually believe they are worth it. In this situation your compliments could backfire. If the relationship is young, start off by giving the odd compliment here and there and monitor carefully how your partner reacts to them.

4. Don't over do it with gifts. By overloading your partner with an excessive amount of gifts you could be sending out the signal that you are worried they may leave you if you don’t continue to buy them gifts. This could display a sign of weakness or insecurity on your part. You definitely want to avoid this. Of course, surprising your partner with occasional gifts, at the right time, is the right thing to do. In fact, giving someone a present, especially if it’s an earned surprise, can often be more rewarding than receiving a present. So feel free to give your partner flowers, chocolates, nice sex toys, a weekend break away, or even a voucher for a massage, etc. Just don’t overdo it.

5. Keep your partner intellectually stimulated. People easily get bored if their partner lacks ideas or if they are not up to date with what is happening in the world. Bring new ideas to the table - and sometimes insist on them - even if you're partner doesn't agree. Especially if your idea means a lot to you or if you are certain that you are right. A great way of keeping your partner intellectually stimulated is to teach them something that they could not do before. This, simply put, will make you an interesting partner to be around.


6. Make an effort to look good - this ensures that you remain attractive in the eyes of your partner. Go to the gym, do yoga, go for a swim or do some other form regular physical exercise. Please bare in mind though that simply looking good is not everything. Mental attraction carries a lot more weight in a relationship compared to physical attraction.

7. Build a healthy social life outside the relationship. The things you experience when you are around other people will bring new ideas into the relationship. If you spend every day of the week with your partner you run the risk of letting you relationship go stale. This is definitely something to avoid. Keep the relationship interesting.

8. Don't fall into the routine trap. Some routine is definitely healthy in a relationship as it provides a certain amount of stability. Stability is without a doubt something we all need. However, too much routine sometimes can lead to boredom. Boredom can (not always) cause your partner to look elsewhere. Naturally this is something you want to avoid. It's important to strike a healthy balance between stability and change. Some examples of change: Introduce new foods to the relationship, don't always go to the same places on holiday, invite different people around for dinner, try a new hobby and in general – don’t be frightened to be spontaneous. Doing these things demonstrates to your partner that you are not afraid of change and it displays confidence. Confidence is definitely an attractive feature.

9. Don't be too indecisive. Constant indecisiveness can be a sign of weakness. What you definitely don't want is that your partner starts to make all the decisions for you. This can lead to a partner walking all over the other person. If someone starts to do that they start to take their partner for granted. This is something that you definitely want to avoid. Although a certain amount of decisiveness can on occasion be attractive as it will give your partner a chance to take the lead. The important thing here to remember is that it should not always be the same person who is in control. Control, in a healthy relationship, is very much a shared thing.

10. Finally, on a more lighthearted note - don't forget to smile and laugh. In fact it's very important to laugh and smile in any relationship. Smiles and laughter will transfer to your partner - and they can draw from that, especially if they are having a bad day. Smiling and laughing also is a form of showing emotions. People who are able to show emotions display a certain amount of confidence. And that can only be a good thing.

The two most important things in a relationship are Trust and Confidence. Have the confidence to occasionally show resistance. Resistance reminds your partner that you are actually there and that you form an important part in the relationship.

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Monday, October 12, 2009

Signs That Your Boyfriend Is Lying – More On Lying

All people lie some of the time. They use words to convey their lies while their body language usually gives them away.

We lie for three main reasons and these give rise to three categories of lies which we can use to discover signs that your boyfriend is lying :

1.. The Empathic Lie - is a lie told with the intention of sparing someone's feelings. It is a face saving lie - but someone else face. It is designed to prevent a loss of social status, the onslaught of social sanctions, the process of judgment involved in both. It is a derivative o our ability to put ourselves in someone else shoes - that is, to empathize. It is intended to spare OUR feelings, which are bound to turn more and more unpleasant the more we sympathize with the social-mental predicament of the person lied to. The reverse, brutal honesty, at all costs and in all circumstances - is a form of sadistic impulse. The lie achieves its goal only if the recipient cooperates, does not actively seek the truth out and acquiescently participates in the mini-drama unfolding in his honor.

2.. The Egocentric Lie - is a lie intended to further the well being of the liar. This can be achieved in one of two ways. The lie can help the liar to achieve his goals (a Goal Seeking Lie) or to avoid embarrassment, humiliation, social sanctions, judgment, criticism and, in general, unpleasant experiences related to social standing (a Face Saving Lie). The Goal Seeking Lie is useful only when considering the liar as an individual, independent unit. The Face Saving type is instrumental only in social situations. We can use the terms: Individualistic Lie and Social Lie respectively.

3.. The Narcissistic Lie - is separated from his brethren by its breadth and recursive. It is all-pervasive, ubiquitous, ever recurring, all encompassing, entangled and intertwined with all the elements of the liar's life and personality. Moreover, it is a lie of whose nature the liar is not aware and he is convinced of its truth. But the people surrounding the Narcissist liar notice the lie. The Narcissist-liar is rather like a hunchback without a mirror. He does not believe in the reality of his own hump. It seems that where the liar does not believe his own lies - he succeeds in convincing his victims rather effectively. When he does believe in his own inventions - he fails miserably at trapping his fellow men.
Confabulations are an important part of life. They serve to heal emotional wounds or to prevent ones from being inflicted in the first place. They prop-up the confabulator's self-esteem, regulate his (or her) sense of self-worth, and buttress his (or her) self-image. They serve as organizing principles in social interactions.

Father's wartime heroism, mother's youthful good looks, one's oft-recounted exploits, erstwhile alleged brilliance, and past purported sexual irresistibly - are typical examples of white, fuzzy, heart-warming lies wrapped around a shriveled kernel of truth.

But the distinction between reality and fantasy is rarely completely lost. Deep inside, the healthy confabulator knows where facts end and wishful thinking takes over. Father acknowledges he was no war hero, though he did his share of fighting. Mother understands she was no ravishing beauty, though she may have been attractive. The confabulate realizes that his recounted exploits are overblown, his brilliance exaggerated, and his sexual irresistibly a myth.

Such distinctions never rise to the surface because everyone - the confabulate and his audience alike - have a common interest to maintain the confabulation. To challenge the integrity of the confabulator or the veracity of his confabulations is to threaten the very fabric of family and society. Human intercourse is built around such entertaining deviations from the truth.


This is where the narcissist differs from others (from "normal" people).

His very self is a piece of fiction concocted to fend off hurt and to nurture the narcissist's grandiosity. He fails in his "reality test" - the ability to distinguish the actual from the imagined. The narcissist fervently believes in his own infallibility, brilliance, omnipotence, heroism, and perfection. He doesn't dare confront the truth and admit it even to himself.

Moreover, he imposes his personal mythology on his nearest and dearest. Spouse, children, colleagues, friends, neighbors - sometimes even perfect strangers - must abide by the narcissist's narrative or face his wrath. The narcissist countenances no disagreement, alternative points of view, or criticism. To him, confabulation IS reality.

The coherence of the narcissist's dysfunctional and precariously-balanced personality depends on the plausibility of his stories and on their acceptance by his Sources of Narcissistic Supply. The narcissist invests an inordinate time in substantiating his tales, collecting "evidence", defending his version of events, and in re-interpreting reality to fit his scenario. As a result, most narcissists are self-delusional, obstinate, opinionated, and argumentative.

The narcissist's lies are not goal-orientated. This is what makes his constant dishonesty both disconcerting and incomprehensible. The narcissist lies at the drop of a hat, needlessly, and almost ceaselessly. He lies in order to avoid the Grandiosity Gap - when the abyss between fact and (narcissistic) fiction becomes too gaping to ignore.

The narcissist lies in order to preserve appearances, uphold fantasies, support the tall (and impossible) tales of his False Self and extract Narcissistic Supply from unsuspecting sources, who are not yet on to him. To the narcissist, confabulation is not merely a way of life - but life itself.

We are all conditioned to let other indulge in pet delusions and get away with white, not too egregious, lies. The narcissist makes use of our socialization. We dare not confront or expose him, despite the outlandishness of his claims, the improbability of his stories, the implausibility of his alleged accomplishments and conquests. We simply turn the other cheek, or meekly avert our eyes, often embarrassed.

Moreover, the narcissist makes clear, from the very beginning, that it is his way or the highway. His aggression - even violent streak - are close to the surface. He may be charming in a first encounter - but even then there are telltale signs of pent-up abuse. His interlocutors sense this impending threat and avoid conflict by acquiescing with the narcissist's fairy tales. Thus he imposes his private universe and virtual reality on his milieu - sometimes with disastrous consequences.

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Saturday, October 10, 2009

Find Signs Of Cheating Boyfriend Online

Donna was engaged to be married in two weeks. She was sitting at her fiancés computer, looking to find addresses to send early thank you notes when it happened. Donna “accidentally opened” the email that changed everything in an instant. “Tina, thanks for sending me those pics last night. They were even sexier then the ones you sent before. I’m sure I’ll be thinking about you and those pictures tonight as I drift off to sleep with a smile on my face. I’ll call you tomorrow after work on my drive home.”

This is just one scenario that every girls, and even guys are getting familiar with in their everyday life. Indeed the booming of the internet had been a way for men and women to cheat. Signs of cheating boyfriend are now abundant online. and even girls have some too.

Stunned, sickened and panicked, Donna confronted Todd over the phone while he was at work. He was home in fifteen minutes and in a marathon fight that last until midnight Todd denied having an affair. He said he’d met Tina online in a chat forum and had never even met her in person. He wasn’t even sure Tina was her real name. Todd explained the stress associated with the upcoming wedding was killing him and he was just mindlessly browsing the web when he stumbled into this chat with his new online “friend”. At first they talked about day to day stuff, even the wedding plans. But after a couple of weeks it turned flirtatious, and after a couple more, sexual. He urged Donna to read the emails so she would believe him. As painful as it was to read the sexually charged correspondence, Donna read far enough to believe they’d never met. However, although they decided not to call off the wedding, Donna moved into the spare room. Too humiliated to face it she told no one! Fifteen days later she walked down the isle, in white, all smiles. Fast forward nine months to today. Todd and Donna are in couples counseling. The outlook is shaky at best.

This leads us to the question that is facing more of today's couples than can possibly be estimated. Is an internet fling or flirting cheating?? Is my man cheating or just getting the hook of internet flirting? My answer is simple, that answer is totally up to you. If you find out your mate has been heating up the internet with another woman and it bothers you, which I’m fairly sure it will, then yes, without a doubt, that’s cheating. The idea of “finding out” itself, indicates that there was hiding of the truth involved in the first place. If your man knew you wouldn’t dig it, so he hid it in the first place, then even he knew it was cheating – no matter what he says about how innocent it was. If you are one of the very small minority of women out there that would not be bothered by this behavior, who would shrug if off as “boys with a keyboard will be boys”, then you wouldn’t be asking this question in the first place.

Cheating used to be very black and white. However these days a lot of men would like to think the internet has created a million shades of grey. I beg to differ. I think cheating is still black and white. I think it’s fairly easy to define as a behavior that creates feelings of emotional or sexual betrayal. I think men know when they are cheating, almost always confirmed by their hiding the behavior in question. Now, I know, women do bad things too. However, statistically men are much more likely to engage in “internet affairs”. Not to mention many real world physical affairs start online and men who engage in questionable online behavior are vastly more likely to have a “real” affair.

So, in the end, only you know the answer. Is it cheating? Ask yourself one thing, “does it feel OK to me?” If the answer to that question is no, then your answer is, yes, he is cheating. Don’t cut him any slack on interpretation of the rules. Trust me, in his heart of hearts, he knows it’s cheating too.

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Signs Of Cheating In A Relationship – On Lying And Why We Do It

The most common signs of cheating in a relationship is lying. It is also the most painful way to broke up with a person. They feel betrayed and torn up into pieces. So why do husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, lie to each other?

Our romantic relationships are seldom what they seem. We all want a relationship that is built on openness, intimacy, and trust, but the truth is, our relationships do not always work that way. More often than not, our intimate relationships involve secrecy and deceit. In fact, if you want to look for deception and betrayal in your own life, the best place to start is close to home. Husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, often lie about their true feelings for each other, the feelings they have for others, and their level of commitment. Indeed, it is safe to say that people save their biggest and most serious lies for those they love.

For better or worse, our romantic relationships are full of paradoxes which we try to overlook, downplay and ignore. For the most part, this strategy works well. Until the day comes when it doesn’t, and with little warning or preparation we have to confront face-on the reality that our close relationships are not exactly what they appear to be.

Eventually, almost everyone will catch a spouse or partner in one of their lies. Inevitably, we have a difficult time coping with what we have learned and dealing with the fact that someone close has betrayed our trust. We do not expect our partners to mislead us, nor do we have insight into how and why deception occurs.

In fairness, it should also be mentioned that it is just as likely that a partner or spouse will catch you in one of your own attempts to deceive. And ironically, we are just as unprepared to deal with this kind of situation.

Ignoring the paradoxes inherent in our romantic relationships turns out to be a costly strategy and most people pay the price for this decision, unexpectedly, and all at once. It’s not so much that coming to terms with the use of deception in romantic relationships will solve all of the problems you are going to encounter, but it will certainty help to reduce the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty that occur when deception eventually comes to light.

In fact, when it comes love and romance, most of the things we believe, are not true. Most people believe that all of their marital or relational problems can be solved through “communication.” We believe that deception is difficult to achieve, that misleading a partner requires a lot of effort and thought, and that romantic partners can tell when a lover is lying, and so on. None of these widely held beliefs, however, are supported by the evidence. Rather, our romantic relationships are held together by a delicate balance of both candor and deceit. And both are critical to making our intimate relationships work.

In reality, romantic relationships entail two important features which allow deception to flourish: abundant opportunity, as well as the need to deceive. As we get close to another person, we intentionally and unintentionally provide them with a great deal of information about who we are, revealing ourselves through both our words and deeds. Creating this kind of intimacy or shared knowledge is critical, as it serves as the foundation for a lot of important rewards. Through our close relationships, we create gains with respect to our health, wealth, and emotional well-being.

Because relationships provide so many important rewards, it should come as no surprise that people are inclined to view their romantic partners in a positive light. We place a lot of trust in our romantic partners. We think we know them well. But while our trust surely provides us with a sense of security and comfort, it also lays the ground for deceit. For as we trust our partners more, we also become more confident but less accurate at determining when the truth is being told.

Every relevant study attests to the fact that lovers are terrible at telling when their partners are lying. In fact, detecting deception with anyone is difficult to do, but lovers manage to take this general failure to a spectacular low. Again, as we become more confident that we can tell when a lover is lying, the exact opposite turns out to be true. This “truth-bias” or “blind faith” provides the perfect opportunity for romantic partners to engage in deception. After all, who makes a better victim than someone who is eager and willing to trust everything you have to say?

Not only do close relationships create a wonderful opportunity for deception to occur, they also create the need. While romantic relationships offer many rewards, they also tend to be overly constrictive. Most everyone has felt the constraints of a close relationship from time to time; quite simply you are no longer free to do what you want, when you want, and with whom you want. So intimacy provides tremendous rewards, but at an enormous cost – the loss of your freedom and autonomy.

Lying to a romantic partner helps us deal with the constraints that our intimate relationships impose. Quite frankly, deceiving a romantic partner turns out to be the most efficient and effective way of maintaining the rewards we get from our romantic relationships while pursuing extra-relational goals and activities behind a partner’s back.

How do we decide when to lie and when to tell the truth? Well, most of the time we do not intentionally think about misleading our partners. Rather such decisions are governed by our emotions and just seem to happen when the right situation presents itself. Often a sense of excitement, opportunity, and exhilaration can lead us down paths we had no intention of traveling. A sense of fear, loss, and trepidation, on the other hand, prompt us to cover-up what we’ve done and be more conservative in the short-term. Luckily our emotions are very good at reading situations and keeping our deceptive behavior within limits. Our emotions prompt us to regain some of our freedoms while also allowing us to maintain the benefits we get from our intimate relationships.

When you take a step back and put it altogether, the picture that emerges tends to be rather ironic. Because our romantic relationships are so rewarding yet constrictive, we are simultaneously more truthful and more deceptive with those we love. Additionally, we place the most trust in the person who is most likely to deceive us, just as we are most likely to deceive the person who loves and trusts us the most. These are just a few of the paradoxes that emerge when taking a close look at the use of deception in our romantic relationships. Most of what is uncovered runs counter to our most cherished beliefs about love and romance; that is, the idea that complete openness and intimacy are a central and defining feature of being in love.

Initially most people avoid looking for deception by a loved one. But as you begin to examine your own behavior more closely it becomes harder to dismiss the degree to which lies, betrayal, secrecy and deceit are ever present in our close relationships. Hopefully, you will take on a greater appreciation for the complexities of your relationships as well as a richer understanding of what it means to be in love. Regardless of the final outcome, taking a close look at deception in your life will change the way you view yourself and others.

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

How To Catch Cheating – Tips To Be A Spy

Trusting in your spouse without making 100% sure everything she / he says is really true, you’d better be cautious and play the role of a spy. The question is how to become a spy while you are working. Time is too precious for you and you can not afford to even pay someone spying on your spouse while you are working. Now I'm going to show you how to catch cheating by using computers. A thing that only a few people know about.

The best solution for this is to monitor your computer which is used by your spouse as well. A computer monitoring spy software is exactly what you need. There are many products on the market from less sophisticated to more complex monitoring spy software.

By using Keylogger one of the most efficient computer monitoring spy software products, which will reveal key point information about the activity on your computer like chat conversations, emails and many more. As a spouse you might be curious what has been typed in most used instant messenger programs like Yahoo, MSN, ICQ or Skype.

With this computer monitoring spy software, now you can stay comfortably at your job’s office as Keylogger can be set to send reports to a predefined email address scheduled as you wish.

We know it is hard to bear as soon as you find out your spouse is cheating on you but at least you will know in time and for sure. Keylogger is exactly what you need so make sure you are always prepared for the worst scenarios before it is too late.

Keylogger is easy to install and configure. It works in stealth mode so that your spouse can not detect it even if he / she checks in Program files or task manager. The only person, who will have access to this software, will be only you by using a combination of keystrokes.

The software was specially developed to be simple but effective, that’s why it is one of the most affordable ones on the market. Most of the customers are parents who want to control their children’s activity on the computer and concerned or suspicious spouses. So try to use it and stop cheating now!!

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Sunday, October 4, 2009

Is Your Spouse Cheating?Marriage And Infidelity

Is your spouse cheating on you? Well, why do he/she cheats? We all lie. A world without little white lies would be uncivilized. But 99% of us have told bigger lies in our lifespan. For most of us, lies told in our personal life makes us feel bad. However, we still continue to lie and cheat.

Few events cause as much turmoil in a marriage as infidelity, which can reduce a marriage to rubble, shatter trust and create a breeding ground for insecurity, mistrust and resentment. Most of us have witnessed affairs among people we know, and some of us even have had affairs ourselves. This kind of thing happens in the real world, and it happens all the time. One third of all married couples admit to having cheated on their mates. Let's not be naïve. That's quite a large number of people taking risks!

Affairs begin with two people who find each other interesting and attractive. For whatever reason, the relationship escalates into romance and, finally, into sexual intimacy. People who seek romance and sexual intimacy outside of their primary relationship feel that their relationship is missing something, so they go out and they seek it from someone else.

If you feel deep in your heart, that your spouse is lying and being unfaithful to you, here are some signs of cheating in a relationship to be sure.

One of the techniques professionals use to tell who is lying, and who is telling the truth is to follow eye movements. Neuro-Linguistic Programming says that when people are constructing imaginary or fantasy images we look up and to the left if we are right-handed and up and to the right if we are left-handed. Think, "What color is my Mom’s hair?" Where did your eyes go? Now think, "I’m an astronaut and when I went to the moon I made a snow-man out of moon dust." Where did your eyes go this time?

If you’re spouse is working too many late nights, think about this next time you ask them what their plans are for the night.

Although, there has been some research lately that says this analysis is too simplistic to be counted upon, detectives continue to use it along with other tools. There was a story in Outside Magazine about a detective involved in an investigation of a poaching in a national park. He claimed he could tell within one minute if someone was lying. I got very excited and tracked him down to a sub-station in Wyoming. He said that he teaches his skills to trainees in one hour but he wouldn’t tell me what they were. Maybe he thought I was a secret poacher (which is hard to be in Santa Barbara)

Here are some other ways to tell if your partner or spouse is lying and having an extramarital affair:
If their answer to your question is brief, clear, and direct, that is a good sign that it is true.
Liars start to elaborate and repeat themselves and sometimes their story or the details change.
The more a liar tries, the more you need to worry.

An extramarital affair takes a great deal of energy. The lying, sneaking around, and destroying of evidence all take tremendous energy. The onset of guilty feelings about having the affair, in the first place, further zaps whatever energy the partner having the affair might still have left. And, guess what all this used energy is a complete waste, because liars cannot control the ‘leakage’ of their true feelings, which run in micro-expressions that last half a second. It is so ordinary, so much a part of our everyday lives and everyday conversations that we hardly notice it.

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